From “The Greenwich Village Follies”, 1919.
Words by Philip Bartholomae and John Murray Anderson.
Music by A. Baldwin Sloane.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
When you go to a show
And you’re out to criticize, I’m sure you know
Sometimes you must feel blue
When you have six shows or more each week to do
You can’t help it if you find the shows don’t please
But I just beg you, beg you
Beg you on my bended knees, bended knees
Refrain:
Mr. Darnton, please be good to me
Alan Dale, show us some sympathy
S. Jay Kaufman, have a heart
Don’t you be so gosh-darn smart
Please, Hayward Brown, lie low
And mister Zit, go slow
Bide Dudley, ease our strife
And Metcalfe, give us Life
Lawrence Reamer, won’t you please be good?
Rennold Wolf could help us if he would
So won’t you just try to smile
And though knocking is in style
Please don’t bring along with you
The Critics’ Blues, to these revues
Refrain:
Mister George Jean Nathan, don’t be smart
And De Foe, please do not break my heart
Rankin Towse, leave Sophocles
Rathburn, write some eulogies
John Corbin, Times are hard
Bob Welsh, be on your guard
Burns Mantle, easy be
Hornblow, don’t pick on me
Mister Logan, Herald fame for me
Mister Sime, if for Variety
All of us will surely smile
Forget knocking is in style
If you have not brought with you
The Critics’ Blues, to these revues