Cut Yourself a Piece of Cake

. . . and Make Yourself at Home.
A 1923 popular song.
Words and music by Billy James.

The sheet music:

Cut-Yourself-a-Piece-of-Cake – SHEET MUSICDownload

Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:

Cut_Yourself_A_Piece_Of_Cake – MIDIDownload

Lyrics

  1. My friend Jonesie he got married
    Just the other night
    Jonesie was a man
    Who had an awful appetite
    His wife went to cooking school
    But only learned to bake
    When he kicks about the meals
    She says, “John, for goodness sake, just

Chorus
“Cut yourself a piece of cake
And make yourself at home
I’m sorry that I can’t cook steak
But cake is so “high-toned”
You’ll get corns and bunions
From eating Spanish onions
So cut yourself a piece of cake
And make yourself at home”

  1. There’s a fam’ly in our street
    They really can’t be beat
    They’ve been used to company
    That always likes to eat
    Now the old man’s out of work
    But they always have cake
    And when comp’ny calls on them
    They put up a fake by saying

Chorus
“Cut yourself a piece of cake
And make yourself at home
I’m sorry that we haven’t steak
But cake is so “high-toned”
Ev’ry social leader
Today is a “cake eater”
So cut yourself a piece of cake
And make yourself at home”

  1. Once a week at Jonsie’s house
    The poker players meet
    After playing cards for hours
    They all want to eat
    “One more deal and then we’ll eat”
    They hear his wifie say
    They expect a lovely spread
    But almost pass away when she says

Chorus
“Cut yourself a piece of cake
And make yourself at home
I tried to make some doughnuts
But they all turned out like stone
You know you should diet
Start in right now and try it
So cut yourself a piece of cake
And make yourself at home”

  1. Jones came home the other night
    And said, “I’ve lost my job
    We can’t pay the rent, sweetheart
    Unless some bank I rob
    The landlord said he’d call tonight
    Because the rent is due”
    Jonesie’s wife said, “I’ll fix him
    I know what to do, I’ll tell him

Chorus
“Cut yourself a piece of cake
And make yourself at home
My hubby’s at the lodge tonight
Just had me on the phone
Tell me how’s your mother?
Your sister and your brother?
Won’t you cut yourself a piece of cake
And make yourself at home”

Sung here by Laurence Rubenstein: