From “HELLO, DOLLY!” 1969 film)
Starring Barbra Streisand.
Words and Music by Jerry Herman.
Copyright ©1 Nov 1969.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics:
If you want your sister courted,
Brother wed of cheese imported,
Just leave everything to me.
If you want your roof inspected,
Eyebrows tweezed or bills collected,
Just leave everything to me.
If you want your daughter dated
Or some marriage consummated
For a rather modest fee,
If you want your husband spotted,
Girlfriend traced or chicken potted,
I’ll arrange for making all arrangement,
Just leave everything to me.
If you want your ego bolstered,
Muscles toned or chair upholstered,
Just leave everything to me.
Charming social introductions,
Expert mandolin instructions,
Just leave everything to me.
If you want your culture rounded,
French improved or torso pounded
With a ten year guarantee,
If you want a birth recorded,
Collies bred or kittens boarded,
I’ll proceed to plan the whole procedure,
Just leave everything to me.
If you want your children coddled,
Corsets boned or furs remodeled
Or some nice fresh fricassee,
If you want your bustle shifted,
Wedding planned or bosom lifted,
I’ll discreetly us my own discretion,
I’ll arrange for making all arrangements,
I’ll proceed to plan the whole procedure,
Just leave everything to me.