From the musical “Oliver”, 1959.
Words and music by Lionel Bart.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
1. A man’s got a heart, hasn’t he?
Joking apart, hasn’t he?
And tho’ I’d be the first one to say
That I wasn’t a saint
I’m finding it hard to be
Really as black as they paint
REFRAIN
I’m reviewing the situation
Can a fellow be a villain all his life?
All the trials and tribulation
Better settle down and get myself a wife
And a wife would cook and sew for me
And come for me and go for me
And go for me, And nag at me
The fingers she would wag at me
the money she would take from me
A misery she’d make from me
I think I’d better think it out again
2. A wife you can keep, anyway
I’d rather sleep anyway
Left without anyone in the world
And I’m starting from now
So how to win friends and to influence people
So how?
REFRAIN
I’m reviewing the situation
I must quickly look up everyone I know
Titled people with a station
Who can help me make a real impressive show
I will own a suite at Claridges
And run a fleet of carriages
And wave at all the du-chesses with friendliness
As much as is befitting of my new estate
“Good-morrow to you, Magistrate”
I think I’d better think it out again
3. So where shall I go? Somebody?
Who do I know? Nobody!
All my dearest companions
Have always been villains and thieves
So at my time of life
I should start turning over new leaves?
REFRAIN
I’m reviewing the situation
If you want to eat you’ve got to earn a bob
Is it such a humiliation
For a robber to perform an honest job?
So a job I’m getting possibly
I wonder who my boss’ll be?
I wonder if he’ll take to me?
What bonuses he’ll make to me?
I’ll start at eight and finish late
At normal rate and all, but wait
I think I’d better think it out again
4. What happens when I’m seventy?
Must come a time, seventy
When you’re old and it’s cold and
Who cares if you love or you die
Your one consolation’s the money
You may have put by
REFRAIN
I’m reviewing the situation
I’m a bad ‘un and a bad ‘un I shall stay
You’ll be seeing no transformation
But it’s wrong to be a rogue in every way
I don’t want nobody hurt for me
Or made to do the dirt for me
This rotten life is not for me
It’s getting far too hot for me
There is no in between for me
but who will change the scene for me?
Don’t want no one to rob for me
But who will find a job for me?
I think I’d better think it out again
Hey!