Please, My Nerves!

A popular song from 1928.
Words by Jack Yellen and Benee Russell.
Music by Milton Ager.


Sheet music provided by Laurence Rubenstein:


Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:


Lyrics

  1. Anastasia Gray, she was so blase
    All the boys adored her
    But she claimed they only bored her
    Little Johnny White tried to hold her tight
    Here’s the conversation that I heard that night

Chorus
Don’t you act like that with me
Please, my nerves
I’m as nervous as can be
Please, my nerves
Oh, dear how you upset me
You’re making me a wreck
It’s bad enough you pet me
But don’t climb on my neck
Stop or I will yell with fright
Help! Police!
Goodness, I’m so hoarse tonight
Won’t you cease?
If you can’t leave me alone
I do wish you’d use your dome
Can’t you wait till we get home?
Please, my nerves

  1. John said, “I insist a nerve specialist
    That I know, will cure you
    Very quickly, I assure you”
    So they went to see Famous “Doc” McFee
    From the doctor’s private office came this plea

Chorus
Oh, you brute, you’ll wear me out
Please, my nerves
For assistance I must shout
Please, my nerves
I’m willing to admit, dear
Your “it” just knocks me flat
But altho you’ve got “it”, dear
Don’t try to hand me “that”
Please be nice and don’t get rough
There you are
Goodness gracious that’s enough
Ma! Oh Ma!
I know you just like to play
But if he saw me this way
Gosh! what would my husband say?
Please, my nerves


Sung here by Fred Feild: