A Sarcastic Love Song
From the 1936 film “Swing Time”.
Words by Dorothy Fields.
Music by Jerome Kern.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
- A fine romance! With no kisses
A fine romance, my friend, this is
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But you’re as cold as yesterday’s mashed potatoes
A fine romance, you won’t nestle
A fine romance, you won’t wrestle
I might as well play bridge with my old maid aunts
I haven’t got a chance. This is a fine romance - A fine romance! My good fellow
You take romance, I’ll take Jello
You’re calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean
At least they flap their fins to express emotion
A fine romance! with no quarrels
With no insults, and all morals
I’ve never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants
I never get the chance. This is a find romance
3. A fine romance! with no kisses
A fine romance, my friend, this is
We two should be like clams in a dish of chowder
But we just “fizz” like parts of a Seidlitz powder
A fine romance with no clinches
A fine romance with no pinches
You’re just as hard to land as the “Ile de France”
I haven’t got a chance. This is a fine romance
4. A fine romance! my dear Duchess
Two old fogies who need crutches
True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has
We don’t have half the thrills that the “March of Time” has
A fine romance, my good woman
My strong “Aged in the wood” woman
You never give the orchids I send a glance
No! you like cactus plants
This is a fine romance
Sung here by Vancha March and the eldest Ms. Bear: