My Home Town

A funny song from 1953.
Words and music by Tom Lehrer.


The sheet music:


Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:


Lyrics

  1. I really have a yen
    To go back once again
    Back to the place where no one wears a frown
    To see once more those super-special just plain folks
    In my home town
    No fellow could ignore
    The little girl next door
    She sure looked sweet in her first evening gown
    Now there’s a charge for what she used to give for free
    In my home town
    I remember Dan
    The druggist on the corner,
    He was never mean or ornery
    He was swell
    He killed his mother-in-law and ground her up real well
    And sprinkled just a bit
    Over each banana split
  2. The guy that taught us math
    Who never took a bath
    Acquired a certain measure of renown
    And after school he sold the most amazing pictures
    In my home town
    That fellow was no fool
    Who taught our Sunday School
    And neither was our kindly Parson Brown
    In my home town
    I remember Sam
    He was the village idiot
    And though it seems a pity, it was so
    He loved to burn down houses just to watch the glow
    And nothing could be done
    ‘Cause he was the mayor’s son
  3. The guy that took a knife
    And monogrammed his wife
    Then dropped her in the pond and watched her drown
    Oh, yes indeed, the people there are just plain folks
    In my home town