A 1949 popular song
words by Ray Gilbert and William Okie
music by Al Gannaway
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
- Dear Mister Sears and Roebuck
I been sittin’ here a-thumbin’ through your book
Page a hundred ninety-nine
Shows a stove that’s mighty fine
And a feller in an apron like a cook
Dear Mister Sears and Roebuck
That electric stove’s away above my class
It’s a beauty, yes indeed
But the thing I really need
Is that man to teach me how to cook with gas
Don’t send the stove
It’s the kind I’d like to buy
But I ain’t makin’ much singin’ ballads
I don’t need the stove
But if I could have the guy
He could toss me around like his salads
Oh, Mister Sears and Roebuck
All the items in your catalogue are slick
But the gadget I’d admire
Is that man beside my fire
Take his apron off and send him to me quick - Dear Mister Sears and Roebuck
I been checkin’ your supplies for tennis courts
There is somethin’ I should get
Not a racket or a net
But I sure could use that rascal in the shorts
Dear Mister Sears and Roebuck
Your canoe on page a hundred-forty-three
That’s the type that I would pick
But I’m up a different crick
Can’t you send a feller here to paddle me?
Don’t want a bath, soapy water makes me howl
Don’t the folks in your ads ever mind it?
I can’t use a bath
You can keep your Turkish towel
Only ship me the sheik from behind it
Don’t mean to fuss, ol’ Roebuck
But you’ll never fill my order, it appears
If the shortage is acute, I’m an easy girl to suit
I’ll shut up if you will send me Mister Sears - Dear Mister Sears and Roebuck
I been sittin’ here a-thumbin’ through your book
Page a hundred ninety-nine
Shows a stove that’s mighty fine
And a cutie in an apron like a cook
Dear Mister Sears and Roebuck
That electric stove’s away above my class
It’s a beauty, yes indeed
But the thing I really need
Is that gal to teach me how to cook with gas
Don’t send the stove
No one here can use it yet
What I need is a heart warm and lovin’
Instead of the stove can’t you send me that brunette?
We’d be just like the toast in an oven
Oh, Mister Sears and Roebuck
All the items in your catalogue are slick
But the gadget I’d admire
Is that gal beside my fire
Take her apron off and send her to me quick
4. Dear Mister Sears and Roebuck
In the part that shows the fancy garden tools
There’s a thing my garden lacks
Would the lady in the slacks
Cost as much as if I bought a team of mules?
Dear Mister Sears and Roebuck
Your cologne could not compete with my corral
But I’d buy the stuff in quarts
If I thought that you’d be sports
Would you send it to me sprinkled on a gal?
Don’t want your clothes
I’m a poor and lonely wretch
And I don’t go where folks put the ritz on
But send one of those with the double duty stretch
If you’ll throw in the gal that it fits on
Don’t mean to fuss, ol’ Roebuck
But you’ve kept me writin’ letters now for years
If I have to spend my life all alone without a wife
I’ll be real provoked at you and Mister Sears