When Reuben Comes To Town

A farce about country folks, 1900.
words by J. Cheever Goodwin
music by Maurice Levi

A Reuben or rube, not a person named Reuben, is a country bumpkin, an unsophisticated rustic. This ridiculous song came from a 1900 musical called In Central Park. It makes a point that outsiders better watch out or they could be taken advantage of in New York City where life was fast and tricky.


The sheet music:


Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:


Lyrics

  1. A Reuben from the country came to town the other day
    You’ve heard of Reubens just like that before
    His clothes were rather seedy and his whiskers long and gray
    You’ve heard of whiskers just like that before
    The cabby that he chooses from the crowd that ’round him flock
    You’ve heard of cabbies just like that before
    Only charges him five dollars for a ride of seven blocks
    You’ve heard of charges just like that before

Chorus
When Reuben comes to town, he is sure to be done brown
It’s really very shocking and the fact we should deplore
But it can’t be helped alas, when a chump’s as green as grass
He’ll meet the fate of hundreds who have gone before

  1. Next morning with a wallet packed with many juicy “Vs”
    You’ve heard of wallets just like that before
    Reuben started for a saunter up Broadway, the sights to see
    You’ve heard of saunters just like that before
    A perfect lady met him, who, alas! had lost her way
    You’ve heard of ladies just like that before
    “Would Reuben as a favor see her home to Avenue A?”
    You’ve heard of favors just like that before
  2. The lady was a widow, she explained as they walked East
    You’ve heard of widows just like that before
    She invited Reuben in to see the cozy flat she leased
    You’ve heard of cozy flats like her’s before
    They had a glass of cider, and the next thing Reuben knew
    You’ve heard of cider just like that before
    He was being told to “come on!” by a gentleman in blue
    You’ve heard of “come ons” just like that before
  3. Reuben had an awful headache, his mind was in a haze
    You’ve heard of headaches just like that before
    When the judge remarked next morning
    “It’s ten dollars or ten days”
    You’ve heard remarks of just that sort before
    He wired his wife for money, with some fairytale excuse
    You’ve heard excuses just like that before
    But she answered, “Not a penny!
    If you’re broke, walk home you goose!”
    You’ve heard of answers just like that before

Sung here by Fred Feild: