What’s the Matter With Father

A 1910 popular song.
Words and music by Williams and Van Alstyne.


The sheet music:


Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:


Lyrics

  1. A bunch of college freshmen
    Were as homesick as could be
    They shed their tear for Mother dear
    Until they couldn’t see
    ‘Twas mother this, and sister that
    And mother, dear, some more
    Till one of them jumped up
    And threw his glass upon the floor
    Rah! Rah! Rah!

Refrain
What’s the matter with father, he’s all right
What’s it matter if father’s hair is white?
I’m very strong for the other sex
But Dad’s the fellow that sends the checks
What’s the matter with father, he’s all right

  1. When daddy came to visit son
    Said son, “Now be a sport”
    “We’ll take some girls to supper
    And we’ll have a little quart
    The evening passed along
    And all the freshmen passed away
    But Dad was little “bright eyes”
    Till the early break of day
    Rah! Rah! Rah!

Refrain
What’s the matter with father, he’s all right
What’s it matter if father’s hair is white?
Oh, there was never a vacant chair
Between dear Dad and a maiden fair
What’s the matter with father, he’s all right

  1. Now father was a doctor
    And a specialist you see
    While mother slept his midnight calls
    Made up his specialty
    One night while sneaking up to bed
    He hit the parrot’s cage
    And as it rolled along the hall
    The parrot yelled with rage
    Rah! Rah! Rah!

Refrain
What’s the matter with father, he’s all in
What’s the matter with father, where’s he ‘bin’?
Oh, mother, mother come get your ‘doc’
Before he strangles the coo-coo clock
What’s the matter with father, he’s all in


Sung here by Fred Feild: