A popular song from 1911
Words by Irene Franklin
Music by Burt Green
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
1. We live in a big apartment house
With eighteen elevators
And butlers, maids and schoffermen
And fifteen million waiters
You can’t slide down the banisters
Nor play jacks on the floor
Ma says it’s very elegant
But I like the house next door
Cause there’s a little girl lives in there
She’s just as big as me
She’s got the grandest yellow dog
And a kitten full of fleas
She rides on the dumbwaiter
And she don’t wear fussed up clothes
You see her Pa is a janitor
And goodness only knows
Chorus:
I wish my Pa was a janitor man
Then I could run for beer with a nice tin can
Sample all the goodies that the grocer brings
Dig into the ash-can and find good things
I wouldn’t have to drive in a smelly automobile
For an ice wagon ride I am wild
Why was I born with a broker for a Pa?
When I want to be a Janitor’s child
2. The janitor’s child next door
Buys hokey-pokey from a guinea
I eat my cream with a plate and spoon
So’s not to spoil my pinee
We go to Europe once a year
But the little girl next door
Can go to Coney Island
Twice a week and sometimes more
I have to eat what’s good for me
My milk is pasterized
My bread comes rolled in paper
And my eggs are scandalized
My nurse is antiseptic
And my clothes is hard and firm
If I grow up to be eighteen
I’m going to eat a germ