Put On Your Slippers and Fill Up Your Pipe

(You’re Not Going Bye-Bye Tonight.)
A popular song from 1916.
Words by Ed. P. Moran and Will A. Heelan.
Music by Albert Von Tilzer.


Sheet music provided by Nicholas Leunissen:


Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:


Lyrics

  1. The Joneses had been married
    Just a week and seven days
    At home they sat alone
    When Jonesey got a phone
    He said, “Gee whiz a man can’t spend
    A night home now a days
    That’s Brown, he’s awful sick
    I must go see him quick
    What puzzles me is what I should put on”
    She said, “That’s no puzzle
    Here’s the answer John”

Chorus
Put on your slippers and fill up your pipe
You’re not going “bye-bye” tonight
No earthly use making that old excuse
Let me tell you kiddo
You’re married to a widow
‘Phone down to Brownie
I know it’s a shame
Tell him that I said your excuse is too lame
And give my regards to the boys in the game
You’re not going “bye-bye” tonight

  1. The Joneses climbed the social ladder
    Seven rungs or more
    She got a chafing dish
    He bought a soup and fish
    He had it on him sev’ral times
    But not outside his door
    One night he said I guess
    I’ll leave you dear, and dress
    I’m speaker at the swellest of affairs
    She said, “I’m the speaker
    Don’t put on those airs”

Chorus
Put on your slippers and fill up your pipe
You’re not going “bye-bye” tonight
No earthly use making that old excuse
Right here you’re a fixture
Get out your old “Duke’s Mixture”
Keep up you pipe dreams
But don’t be misled
When your pipe goes out
Smoke your Mecca’s instead
Then put on your nightie
And crawl into bed
You’re not going “bye-bye” tonight


Sung here by Vancha March: