From the 1916 musical “Canary Cottage”.
Words and music by Earl Carroll.
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
1. When you were a youngster
And something made you cry
Who turned the tears to laughter
With a piece of cake or pie?
The cook, God love her, the cook
The cook, the cook, the cook
When you first got married
And then your little wife
Said biscuits she would try to bake
Who came and saved your life?
The cook, God love her, the cook
The cook, the cook, the cook
When you came home weary and felt so tired out
Who made life interesting
When you tried to fire ner out?
The cook, the cook
So, you came for dinner
And brought the boys with you
Who took the hose you used for gas
And made spaghetti stew?
The cook, God bless her, the cook
The cook, the cook, the cook
CHORUS
So, follow the cook, the cook, the cook
Follow the cook, the cook, the cook
You’ll be soon a part of the pans and pottery
For she knows that your heart is
Where your stomach ought to be
So follow the cook, the cook, the cook
Don’t stop to think or look
No matter your station
Each one in the nation
Has to follow the cook, the cook!
2. When you came home woozy
And tried to clean the street
Who fixed it up with Clancy
Who’s the Sergeant of the beat?
The cook, God love her, the cook
The cook, the cook, the cook
When you found the keyhole
And stumbled up the stairs
Who dusted off the powder
And removed the golden hairs?
The cook, God love her, the cook
The cook, the cook, the cook
When then in the morning
When she asked where you stayed
Who told her she might get
Some information from the maid?
The Cook, the Cook
So, you told your wifey
“It’s only twelve,” who knew
To cuckoo ten more cuckoos
When the cuckoo cuckooed two?
The cook, God bless her, the cook
The cook, the cook, the cook