(or, A Day At the Circus)
A top hit song from 1891
Words by J. Sherrie Mathews
Music by Harry Bulger
The sheet music:
Lyrics
- ‘Twas away last spring, I believe in May
When old Si Hubbard to me did say
“I hear a circus is coming to town
Suppose we go and see the clown”
So we sold our barley, oats and corn
In fact, we most cleaned out the barn
Then went and bought two bran new suits
With white plug hats and redtop boots
And when that circus got around
We two were the fust ones on the ground
Says Si to me, “Let’s go get tight
Pull down the tents and have a fight”
“Not much,” says I, “I’ll raise no feud”
For you see I was skeered of old Hey Rube
So I proposed some red lemonade
And guber peas for which I paid - ‘Twas a jolly good cuss who kept the store
So we thought when he asked us to have some more
Says he, “I like you boys fust-rate
So, don’t stand back, I’ll stand the treat”
Then Si and I jist pitched right in
And the way we ate and drank was a sin
But when we turned to go away
We heard that gosh-darned sharper say
“Four dollars, quick! you Rubes, don’t wait
Or for the side-show you’ll be late”
So, I paid the cash, like a darn-fool cuss
And off to the side-show we did rush
When we got inside what sights we seen
Wuz enought to turn our whiskers green
There was a tatooed man all covered with ink
And a dog-faced boy called the missing link - But the sight that made us fairly shake
Was a great big sleepy lookin’ snake
Si pulled his jack-knife out right quick
And up to the cage he did slip
He stabbed that snake and jumped away
But I laughed, for the critter was stuffed with hay
Now a parrot in a cage close by
Next caught the gaze of foolish Si
Si didn’t know this bird could talk
But when it called him a “country gawk”
He got right mad, and just for spite
He knocked that bird clean out of sight
But a monkey who was in the cage
At Si’s conduct got in a rage
And to show his love for his feathered friend
A helping hand he allowed to lend - So he grabbed poor Si by his red goat-tee
And it made the whole crowd laugh to see
Si tug and pull to get away
But that pesky monkey had come to stay
And he pulled Si’s whiskers so all-fired hard
That his chin was as long as the neck of a gourd
All at once I seed Si smile, and then
I knew his troubles wuz at an end
And sure enough, with his knife so keen
He cut his whiskers close to the chin
When I see that face with the goatee off
I coughed and laughed, and laughed and coughed
And two girls fainted at the terrible sight
And the rest of the crowd all took to flight
Then the showmen threw us out in a hurry
And the gosh-darned band played “Annie Laurie” - Says I, “What’s the next thing on the docket?”
For we both had money in our pocket
As if in answer to my question
We both looked in the one direction
And there, before our very eyes
Wuz a big balloon of enormous size
And a man in the basket in skin-tight clothes
Sez, “Cut the rope, and let her go”
Sez Si to me, “I’ll spoil his racket”
And he grabbed a rope that was hitched to the basket
And tried to hold the balloon to the ground
But the balloon was the strongest, so Si soon found
And to the horror of all lookers-on
Up went poor Si tied to the balloon
When I seed Si goin’, I run to his aid
And a sudden dash for the rope I made - But my feet got tangled in the coil
And I, like Si, left native soil
Then up in the air like a rocket I shot
And I called to the man in the balloon to stop
But he only smiled into my face
And asked me, “How I liked the place?”
“Not much,” sez I, “You skinny dude!”
“Then call me down,” sez he, “you Rube”
Sez I to Si, “Take out your knife
And cut the rope, and save our lives”
And Si in his pocket his hand did slip
To get his knife, but lost his grip
And lit right square upon my face
And then we both fell into space
“Look out, we’re comin'”, I cried out loud
“Oh, we don’t care,” came back from the crowd - But instead of lightin’ in the spot I meant
We came smack down on the animal tent
When we lit the tent began to tear
And to save my life I grabbed Si’s hair
But his hair broke off, and down I went
With Si on top, inside the tent
And we lit so hard on a candy shop
That the whole darned band in the circus stopped
And then the folks came running out
To see what the rumpus was all about
And one of the troupers wanted to know
If we had paid to get in the show
When I told him, “We had just dripped in
To try and hear the circus ring”
He up with a club and hit me a crack
Which nearly broke my pesky back - This made me mad, and up I rose
And hit him square upon the nose
He cried, “Hey, Rube!” and to my surprise
Hey Rubes came a-runnin’ as thick as flies
And they grabbed us both, and tore our clothes
And they said they’d teach us to steal in shows
“We didn’t steal in,” sez I to the crowd
“Why no,” sez Si, “We dropped from the clouds”
But a sonstable who had a badge on
And like a dog’s tail, he kept a wag-on
Told Si and I to “Get inside
And with him take a little ride”
When at the calaboose he stopped
He showed us in and the door he locked
And said for being two bg jays
He’d have to give us sixty days
That wuz enough for us
That wuz enough for us
We’ll ever go to another show
For that wuz enough for us