(A brainy man)
From Ziegfeld Follies of 1910
Words by Will A. Heelan
Music by Seymour Furth
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
1. Sweeney is an Irishman
Who loves his Irish name
If he meets you he’ll just tell it
He don’t have to wait and spell it
Like the Harrigan’s, the Kelly’s
And some others just the same
But one fault he’s had from childhood ever since
He’s the hardest man I’ve heard of to convince
Chorus:
So if you’ve anything to tell to Mister Sweeney
Don’t forget to tell it straight
For he’s powerful and strong and I’ve noticed all along
That he’ll never fight unless he’s right
But then he’s never wrong
So if you’ve anything to tell to Mister Sweeney
Tell it plainly as you can
When he makes his mark some day
‘Twill be a question mark, they say
That’s Mister Sweeney, a brainy man
2. Once he passed a building
‘Twas the grandest of it’s kind
To a lady he said, “Missus
Can you tell me whose place this is?”
She said, “Sure I can sir
It’s the institution for the blind”
Sweeney said, “Well, if they’re blind, they see no more
what the hell did they put windows in there for?”
Chorus:
So if you’ve anything to tell to Mister Sweeney
Don’t forget to tell it straight
For he’s powerful and strong and I’ve noticed all along
That he’ll never fight unless he’s right
But then he’s never wrong
So if you’ve anything to tell to Mister Sweeney
Tell it plainly as you can
Folks should not come here by rights
It’s no place to see the sights
Said Mister Sweeney, a brainy man