Written for “LOUISIANA PURCHASE,” 1940.
Used in the movie, “CALL ME MADAM,” 1953.
Starring Ethel Merman.
Words and Music by Irving Berlin.
Copyright ©10 May 1940.
The movie sheet music:
Lyrics:
VERSE:
Love is beautiful, love is swell,
Love is as sweet as a nut.
Love is grander than tongue can tell,
Love is remarkable, but
CHORUS:
Look at what it did to Antony—
It made a fool out of Antony.
If love could do that to Antony,
What chance have I with love?
Look at what it did to Romeo‚
It dealt poor Romey an awful blow.
If love could to that to Romeo,
What chance have I with love?
Look what it did to Samson—
Till he lost his hair he was brave.
If a haircut could weaken Samson,
They could murder me with a shave.
Look at what it did to Bonaparte—
He lost his head when he lost his heart.
If he kicked over the apple car,
What chance have I, an ordinary guy,
What chance have I with love?
Alternate version
CHORUS 1
Look at what it did to Romeo‚
It dealt poor Romey an awful blow.
If love could to that to Romeo,
What chance have I with love?
Look at what it did to Antony—
It made a Mark out of Antony.
If love could do that to Antony,
What chance have I with love?
Look at what it did to Samson—
Till he lost his hair he was brave.
If a haircut could weaken Samson,
They could murder me with a shave.
Louie Number Fifteen, king of France—
They say he suffered with each romance.
If love kicked him in the royal pants,
What chance have I,
An ordinary guy,
What chance have I with love?
CHORUS 2 [from release]
Look what it did to Adam—
From that bite he could not escape.
If an apple could finish Adam,
They could knock me off with a grape.
Miss Lucrezia Borgia, deep in sin—
She poisoned her lovers with they dropped in.
If they wound up with a Mickey Finn,
What chance have I,
An ordinary guy,
What chance have I with love?
CHORUS 2 [from release]
Look what love did for Reno—
It put Reno on the map.
When a woman goes to Reno,
It’s because some man is a sap.
Tommy Manville’s love is not returned—
He sells asbestos and he has learned
That with asbestos he still gets burned:
What chance have I,
An ordinary guy,
What chance have I with love?
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne: