From the musical “For Goodness’ Sake”, 1922
Words by Arthur Jackson
Music by William Daly and Paul Lannin
The sheet music:
Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:
Lyrics
- There are so many things in life
So hard to understand
How high is up, for instance
Do you know?
And why night falls but does not break
Day breaks but does not fall
And when a match goes out
Where does it go?
We clipped and sent a coupon
To a monthly magazine
We got a book that’s just as plain as it can be
For these and other questions
Nobody ever asks
The answer is on page one hundred three
Refrain:
It’s the whichness of the whatness
And the whereness of the who
That explains most everything to us
And you must admit
The whole thing is ridiculously simple
As well as simply ridiculous, see?
Don’t forget it or remember
To forget that you forgot
It will save you lots of trouble if you do
Just get this in your head
And you will have it in a nutshell
It’s the whichness of the whatness
And the whereness of the who
- One evening while at dinner
I saw an oldish man
His age between sixteen and eighty-eight
And when they served the salad
He rubbed his snow white head
With every single leaf upon his plate
“Oh, Sir, if you’ll forgive me
And even if you don’t
Why do you treat your salad so?” I cried
The old man rose in anger
“My salad, Yudas Priest!
I thought that it was spinach,” he replied
Refrain:
It’s the whichness of the whatness
And the whereness of the who
That has always been so difficult to me
For it seems as if it goes
Right in one ear and out the other
Well, there’s nothing there to step it, don’t you see
Any question you can think of
It is all the same to me
I can answer anything you want me to
Well, what’s the reason for
The income tax or Prohibition?
It’s the whichness of the whatness
And the whereness of the who
Sung by Laurence Rubenstein: