That’s A Lot Of Bunk

From the comedy “Dew Drop Inn”, 1923
Words and music by Al Wilson, James A. Brennan and Mack Henshaw

The sheet music:

That’s A Lot Of Bunk – Sheet MusicDownload

Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:

Thats_A_Lot_Of_Bunk – MIDIDownload

Lyrics

  1. “Don’t believe a thing you hear
    Nor half of what you see”
    Mother always said to me
    When I was a kid of three
    Now I know that she was right
    Right in every way
    In the papers every day
    Here’s what the head lines say

Chorus:
Chorus girls are darn good cooks
That’s a lot of bunk
And they love to read good books
That’s a lot of bunk
Two girls took two boys in their car
When they got out pretty far
The boys said, “Stop or we’ll tell Ma”
That’s a lot of bunk
Father get the hammer
There’s a fly on baby’s head

  1. This fool song has got no sense
    When all is said and done
    But I think it’s lots of fun
    And I’ve only just begun
    Now I hope the audience
    Won’t think I’m a bore
    And I hope they won’t get sore
    Cause I’m gonna sing some more

Chorus:
Taxi drivers never cheat
That’s a lot of bunk
Cops are always on their beat
That’s a lot of bunk
I took a show girl out with me
Dined at Cafe de Paris
She said, “I’ll just have cake and tea”
That’s a lot of bunk
She knocked my apartment
And so I knocked her flat

Chorus:
Waiters never take a tip
That’s a lot of bunk
Car conductors never gyp
That’s a lot of bunk
Why only just the other day
I phoned two thousand miles
And say I got my number right away
That’s a lot of bunk
Was engaged to a girl with a wooden leg
But I broke it off

Chorus:
My landlord’s a poor old gent
That’s a lot of bunk
And he’s never raised the rent
That’s a lot of bunk
The cats in all the yards, Oh! my
They sing so sweet, they sing so high
I love to hear their lullaby
That’s a lot of bunk
We got a goat without any nose
But gosh how he can smell

Chorus:
Everybody loves to die
That’s a lot of bunk
Little babies never cry
That’s a lot of bunk
I met a tramp whose funds were low
I listened to his tale of woe
And said, “Poor man take all my dough”
That’s a lot of bunk
Throw a sponge in water
Then you’ll see something swell

Chorus:
Actors lead an awful life
That’s a lot of bunk
Every man’s true to his wife
That’s a lot of bunk
The soldiers fought for you and me
They fought for our liberty
They’ll get their bonus wait and see
That’s a lot of bunk
Automobiles come from China
Because they go “Hong Kong”

Sung by Laurence Rubenstein: