I Wonder What’s the Matter With My Eyes

from the 1908 musical “Miss Innocence”
words by Harry Williams
music by Egbert Van Alstyne


The sheet music:


Accompaniment by James Pitt-Payne:


Lyrics

  1. I’m very sad, I feel so bad
    And I’m so innocent, you know
    But my eyes get me in trouble
    Every single place I go
    In a cafe they often say
    I flirt with Jack, or Joe, or Fred
    So I went to see an occultist today, and said

Chorus:
“I wonder what’s the matter with my eyes?
I wish I knew
I wonder if it’s their enormous size?
Oh, tell me do
Or can it be a nervous blink
That makes the boys all think I wink
I wonder what’s the matter with my eyes?”

  1. I’m fond of art, I have a heart
    For things artistic, you’ll agree
    But our good kind Mister Comstock
    Doesn’t quite agree with me
    Among the trees that fan the breeze
    I often see a naked limb
    And though I’m never shocked
    They say, a limb shocks him

Chorus:
“I wonder what’s the matter with my eyes?
I wish I knew
I wonder if it’s their enormous size?
Oh, tell me do
If postal cards from “Gay Paree”
Look bad to him and good to me
I wonder what’s the matter with my eyes?”


Sung here by Vancha March: